Thelma Dreams, Louise Determination

And the Stages of the Women Who Ride With You

Good Monday morning, Roommates.

This week’s movie and theme is Thelma & Louise — a 1991 American buddy comedy-drama directed by Ridley Scott and written by Callie Khouri, starring Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon as two friends who take a road trip that goes slightly off course.

Highly recommended — and yes, I’ll link it at the bottom if you somehow missed this cultural rite of passage.

There’s a line in Thelma & Louise where Louise says:

“You get what you settle for.”

And if that isn’t the most aggressive personal growth quote of the 90s, I don’t know what is.
That line alone has ended marriages, friendships, and at least one bad haircut.

In My Twenties, I Wanted to Be Thelma

Wild.
Centered.
Main-character energy.

Instead?

I was Louise.

Invited — but sometimes as an afterthought.
Responsible — even when I desperately wanted to be reckless.

I was the one holding the emotional emergency kit while secretly wishing someone would just once say,
“Chill out. Have fun. We got you.”

That would never happened. Not a chance in hell.

But it was a nice thought.

The Party Friends: Wild but Wounded

There’s a stage of friendship where drama feels like intimacy.

We didn’t just gossip — we produced episodes.
Same characters. Same issues. Same chaos.
Just retold with extra dramatic flair… and better outfits.

Nothing ever changed.

But reliving it made it feel important.
Like if we dissected it one more time, we’d finally solve it.

Spoiler: we didn’t.

We just stayed emotionally drained and slightly dehydrated.

That wasn’t a deep connection.
That was chaos in cute outfits and butterfly hair clips.

I wanted to be wild. But even then, I was the one checking the time, making sure everyone had their flip phones, contacted their parents, and secured a ride home.

Turns out, some of us aren’t reckless because we’re boring. We’re cautious because we’re built to endure.

The Car Seat Years: When I Felt Behind

Then life shifted.

Babies.
Car seats.
Nursery paint colors.

And I felt behind.

Not socially.

Biologically.

While everyone else was building families, I was pretending I wanted to party — and telling myself they were missing out.

It was a lie.

I didn’t want tequila.
I wanted a baby.

There’s something brutally humbling about clapping at a baby shower while your own heart is quietly asking, “When?”

So I did what determination does.

I borrowed joy.

I used my friends’ kids to heal a wound inside me.
I babysat.
I showed up.
I let tiny hands grab mine. And instead of breaking me…

It saved me.

That’s not weakness.
That’s grit with mascara on.

And let’s be honest — if Thelma or Louise had kids, that entire movie would’ve been fifteen minutes long and ended with someone saying,
“We should probably head home.”

Because that’s what motherhood does, it breaks down obstacles and gives you the strength you didn’t know you had.

The Friends Who Change (And the Ones Who Don’t)

One of my biggest party friends changed after the kids. And I wasn’t ready for that.

A full 360.

The Perfect Pinterest Mom.

Hobby time, craft time, snack time. No Adult Time!

And yes — it was sad.

I knew the chapter was changing.
I just wasn’t ready to turn the page.

Not because she became a mom —
But because we didn’t evolve together.

Some friends are for the tequila years.
Some are for the car seat years.
Some are for the survival years.

And not everyone rides in every chapter.

And if we’re being honest…
Haven’t we all been in the wrong chapter for someone's story?

Wild Doesn’t Always Mean Floor It

Near the end of the movie, Thelma says:

“Let’s keep going.”

And every young woman watching thought,
“Yes. Freedom.”

But here’s what grown women learn:

Freedom isn’t always flooring it. Sometimes freedom is braking.

When I went through divorce and reinvention, I realized something:

Wild isn’t chaos. Wild is determination.

Wild is choosing healing over hardening.
Wild is loving your friends even when their journey isn’t yours.
Wild is admitting when you were the toxic one.
Wild is staying soft when life tries to make you sharp.

That’s Louise's energy with Thelma's courage.

The Real Rebel Move

Thelma and Louise chose the canyon.

We don’t have to.

The real rebellion isn’t running —it’s evolving.

It’s growing through stages of friendship instead of burning them down.
It’s choosing determination over destruction.
It’s being a little wild — but very intentional.

I wanted to be Thelma. But I was always Louise.

And now? I’m both.

And that’s the kind of woman who doesn’t just survive the road.

She knows when to floor it.
She knows when to brake.
And she knows exactly who deserves a seat in the car.

Pull up a chair, Roommate. Say the thing.

And remember — you don’t get what you wish for.

You get what you refuse to settle for.

https://amzn.to/4kDEHlV - Link to Buy & Watch Movie